I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize