you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
