If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize