The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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