So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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