Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
