And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
