talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you never un-have a 4some
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
