I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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