It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
