Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
