I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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