He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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