she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
