This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
