Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
