we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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