pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
