I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
