After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
