that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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