i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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