I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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