I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
