at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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