some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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