ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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