lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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