Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
