I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
