You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
