Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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