i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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