one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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