Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
