This girl is more easily done than said...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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