No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
