We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
