I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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