"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
