508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
