can u get pink eye on your cock?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
