Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
