i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize