Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
