Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
