It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
