i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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