her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
