oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
