mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
